Sometimes I'm amazed at how my daughter can just show up after weeks of emotional detachment from me and just "need" something and completely turn my day upside down. And don't I go and change my life around to accommodate her. She's not around a lot, hard to converse with, includes me in little and I just jump at the chance to be mom for the day. (I read where teenagers go through that distancing period so as to prepare themselves to go out on their own -- Or maybe they're just being punks).

So today I have my day planned. She shows up we have to go do this, do that, get this, get that, etc. Doesn't really matter what it is, the point is "I" went right along with it.

I figure one of these days she'll move out and I won't see her much so I have to get it while I can.

Have a great day.

Wally Lamb is one of my favorite writers (most notably for "She's Come Undone" and "I Know This Much Is True"). I recently read two more books of his. Actually, the stories are written by Women of the York Correctional Institution (Connecticut's Maximum Security Prison for Women) who participated in a writing class he taught there in 1999. There are two books, the first "Couldn't Keep it to Myself" and then "I'll Fly Away" (further testimonies). Wally Lamb edits and makes the introduction.

He originally agreed to go to the facility to teach a two week class. He ended up teaching about fifty sessions and the first book was a creation of that experience. It's a captivating read. From his introduction to the very last page. Even the story behind the cover photo is interesting. He states that while driving to the prison the first day he fumbled with the radio dial and heard the Newark New Jersey Abyssinian Baptist Choir and was overwhelmed by the message in the then unfamiliar song that eventually became the title of the book.

I am blessed to have NEVER experienced the pain and disillusionment these women experienced that led to their incarceration. The stories are not specifically about the crimes they committed but more about how they became who they are and what how they survive and move forward under the conditions within the prison system.

These are two fascinating books that not only give you insight on prison life but how the system is not working.

Take care everyone, Bohemian.

All week I've been feeling out of sorts and melancholy. Today was the worst. I went to my friends funeral. His name was Paul and he was 57. He'd been on kidney dialysis and had a bad heart. (At 50 he had a quad. bypass). After an amicable divorce 12 years ago he chose to live in a small apartment and pretty much just get by. I started working with him the month he moved out. One of the things he did, was take in people who needed a place to go after getting out of jail over the years. Always woman of course, but he'd give them an address and use of his car. In return they'd take care of the house, laundry,cook, etc. Once on their feet they moved out, but still remain friends. For two years he let one woman's daughter live with him to keep her out of foster care. I gave him advice when he asked and clothes for her. He supported this kids needs the entire two years. It was weird, but he had a good heart, that's just how he was. I think she filled his need to take care of someone too since he'd never had children. When she went back to her mom he missed her sorely. I have to say I was so comforted by the extraordinary turnout for this man's funeral. He had many lifetime friends. Four men got up and gave beautiful (and funny) tributes to their friendship through, school, work, etc. His ex wife and he had remained friends right up until he died. The young girl (who is 16 now) and her mom were there as well as some of the other woman he helped along the way. It was one of these women who found him. He once told me he felt like it was a way he could give back. Clearly he touched a lot of peoples lives. I will miss him.

Yesterday I went to a baby shower. My friends daughter is having a baby in October. She's 20 years old. The father's family included many gals who had children young. There's something to be said for that. I didn't have my kids until I was 31 and 34. It worked out well for me, but sometimes I envy these young moms and grandparents their energy. I'm keeping up with them pretty well. Or at least giving it my best shot.

On Saturday night we went to Naylors Vineyard in Shrewesbury PA. We've been there about four times this summer. It's beautiful and they usually have big bands so lots of older folks come out and dance. I love watching them. You can just see how comfortable these older couples are with their "moves". The owner (who is 80 years old) had his mother and family there to celebrate her 106th Birthday!!! Yes I said 106!! Isn't that something?? She made a little speech and was sharp as a tack. She's either going to be on TV or mentioned Wednesday with Willard Scott.

I got a call while at the above mentioned baby shower. A guy friend of mine had died. He was only 57. He had bypass surgery at 50. Recently he had to get a defibrillator put in and had to go for dialysis 3 times a week. I'm feeling bad that I didn't keep in better contact with him. I went to see him at the hospital a couple of months ago right before he went home. We were going to stay in touch. He didn't, I didn't. Now that time is lost.

I have so little opportunity to blog anymore and it seems somewhat callus to segue into movies........but..... I've been to a few lately and want to comment on them. "Mama Mia" was great fun. I've been to the play twice but last night I saw the movie. It's just a lot of fun. The scenery is gorgeous. Other than the daughter character I didn't think any of them could sing well but it was still a good movie. "Burn before Reading" -- EXCELLENT, very funny, go see it!!! A while back I went to see "Bridehead Revisited". The BBC version was better. It should have been better. Last one for today: Saw the DVD "Prudence" -- it's a fairytale type movie about a girl born with the nose of a pig. I rather liked it. I like anything James McAvoy is in these days.

Take Care.

We took my daughter and her new boyfriend along for our three day trip to Chincoteague over the 15th of August. It was a mistake. I'm the peace keeper, don't wanna make waves, gutless wonder. My husband however does not share my views and when the kid and my daughter were being immature (changing cds by jumping through the seats while I'm driving, bugging us to stop constantly for this that and the other thing, take an hour drive to another beach [which we actually did because we are idiots] and many other things too numerous to mention...) my husband let his displeasure be known by his body language and responses. This of course causing the kids to hate us. The correct thing as parents and hosts would have been to speak up, lay down the rules, give clear instructions and expectations. An example would be "Get off the couch and help load the car NOW." Instead of the less defined: "All of this stuff needs to go in the car before the 11:00 check out." Before I go anywhere again with young adults I'm going to work on my word skills.

The weather was beautiful and the place we stayed turned out to be pretty fun. After the hour drive back from Ocean City that we didn't want to take -- the kids wanted dropped off at the movies and then to walk back. Which was FINE with us. We tried to reiterate the road to take and were told "hey we got it." We proceeded to go back to the place, drink beer and crab in the nice little tributary we were on. I forgot all about the world and my CELLPHONE. They got lost, walked an additional two miles, chewed up by mosquitoes, etc. When they returned mad as hell I might add, I made the mistake of laughing for about 15 minutes . A couple of "Dogfish Brews" will put you in that kind of mood. Their hatred towards us only increased.

Anyway, here's a picture of the "cottage" I rented over the phone sight unseen. Turned out Uncle Joe's cabins are trailers. They were clean as a whistle and at the end of a private drive. The beach was a short drive or bike ride. Lots of geese to watch, your own grill, deck and place to crab. (We throw them back, eating a crab you catch is far to personal of a relationship for me to eat one).